My words are melting in my head. I don’t know how to put them in a right order so everyone can understand me. I don’t have anyone to talk with. I don’t have anybody to tell all my fears and deep feelings to. I am so alone…

Is it bad to ask to someone: “can you please listen to me, let me complain for hours and just be a comprehensive ear for me?” Because this is what I need right now. Actually, even if someone comes right now and tell me I can talk for hours with him/her, I wouldn’t say a damn word… Because I know I annoy people. I feel like I’m just good to listen to the others but not being heard.

I try to write my feelings on this blog or even just on sheets of paper at school. But nothing is helping. I want something so damn easy!

I’d like to meet someone, not a friend, but someone I talked a bit with and doesn’t know everything from me yet. Sometimes I find it easier to talk with a stranger than with a close friend. I’d like to meet that person in a little park, by a beautiful spring day. In the afternoon would be perfect. I’d like to sit on a bench or in the grass, in the sun. I’d light a cigarette or more because I feel better when I can do something with my hands. That person can talk to me; tell me anything, it’d help me too feel less nervous. Then I want to tell everything that’s in my mind, on my heart, in my head. I want to put all of those thoughts in my mouth and let them out with words. I just need to feel heard. The person doesn’t have to give any answer to my question. I just want to talk and feel heard…

Is it too much to ask?

No cheers… Lady of Flesh…


3 thoughts on “Lonelyness

  1. It is great to know that you have words! Even if you don’t feel you have someone to talk them over with. I’m not sure if there’s a befriending charity near you, but if there is, you could have some structured time to talk your own words over with, informally and confidently.

    Some people go through difficult times and don’t know how to express themselves. By your last two posts, you can – now that’s a success 🙂

    Remember the simple things in life too. Continue to do things you enjoy and appreciate the finer things in your life, look at your ability to speak 4 different languages. You may not like finishing your course, but it really is better than not having a course. By finishing the course you will reassure yourself that you are knowledgeable, understanding etc as you continue to work through some problems of life. Be strong, stay strong, you are strong – even when you don’t think it.

    PS keep writing your thoughts down (even handwritten ones, offline) they are a great release mechanism.

    • Thank you for your advices 🙂 It really means the world to me when people read me sometimes and most important try to give me some keys, some highlights for solutions. It’s really kind of you =)

      • You are very welcome 🙂 Remember to keep smiling & writing. Things will get better with time, they are getting better for everyone. Have a nice weekend

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