Things in my Life

Hello everyone, I’m finally back after a very long time of absence.  I had a lot of things going weirdly in my life lately and didn’t get the time to share it here. I’ve to admit that I missed to post on this blog.

Right now, I’m at the end of my final exam session. Tomorrow, I’ll have my History exam and this is the last but certainly not least exam of my whole three years of studies. But I won’t get my diploma on June the 20^th like all the others. Unfortunately, my teachers made me fail at my work experiences of the year. And this is one of my major classes, the most important. So, I’ll have to present and do another work experience in November and get graduated in January. Does it suck? Yes. Totally.

Having a long distance relationship really killed me. I thought it’d be quiet easy but absolutely not. However I’m still with my boyfriend but, I don’t know how to explain it but I feel that I don’t want to waste anytime in “searching” someone. I feel my boyfriend is the good one, the only one, even if we know each other since a few (long) months. If we can’t really know someone even in years of relationships, I think I can just trust him and build my life with him. At 23 years, I feel too much old, I need to have my life and I need him by my side. I’m hoping to be happy with him but I know I’ll be.

Last Saturday the 9^th, I went to the global protestation against ACTA in Brussels. That was incredibly nice for me because I was with those few awesome people I met on the 12^th of May during the Global Change/Indignados protest. Now, I know I can go on demonstration with good, nice and very kind people who think like me and act the same. That’s awesome to feel like a part of something I truly believe in.

This summer, I hope it’s going to be my best summer ever. I’ve two different plans. The first is to go on holyday with my parents from July the 7^th to August the 18^th in Morocco. Sunbathing, beach, museums, travels and initiation to some “extreme” sports are planned. The second plan is to get a house with my boyfriend and just live together with probably a No Border camp in Germany, as an Occupy Koln and Dusseldorf.  One or the other, both are going to fulfill my heart with happiness.

Those last few months were really hard and stressed but with lots of support, love and smiles around me, I didn’t left everything over, I kept working and fighting. Yes, I failed at some things but I successfully achieved others+ and I’m glad.

Today, I feel really happy, pretty proud and full of hope for my future.

Cheers, Lady of Flesh

Exam – A little taste of hell…

It’s time for my “winter” exams. Two weeks of bullshit and hypocrisy to try to success those ones. If I do, I’ll be a little more closer from my dreams!
I say bullshit and hypocrisy because, basically, if you want to success, you have to say what your teacher wants to hear. Even if he said “think about this and tell me what your personal opinion is”, it’s clearly the kind of situation where you better have to shut your thoughts up and say whatever the teacher is going to appreciate. Even if you set against it. So what’s the point about those exams? How is it going to help me if I can’t tell my real opinion? Of course, I already tried to do that. I was telling to myself “you have to be honest, not for the teacher but for yourself, it’s not good to lie and you don’t like to lie so say what you really think”. Big mistake ever… The teacher didn’t appreciate and I had to pass the same exam three times before I got it!
Here are my different classes for this session:
_ Professional ethics (maybe a good 15/20))
_ Learning’s differentiations – practice (between 16-18/20!)
_ Art and Culture (presentation with classmates, I hope a 14-16/20)
_ Elaboration of the professional project (I’ll try the 18-19/20, I can do it for this one)
_ Greatest educational currents (I need a 12/20… I can’t do better)
_ Learning’s differentiations – theory (same, 12/20, can’t do better)
I just hope everything is going to be fine. I’m dying because of stress and anxiety… Last year, I have to do my best!

Cheers, Lady of Flesh

Education

So, I’m a student… In case you didn’t notice it… And I’ll have my first exam session of this last year of study for me in January. By the way, I’m studying history, geography and sociology to be a teacher for kids between 12 and 15 in those 3 classes. Well, that’s what my graduation is going to say. Because I’m not going to teach next September.

People always ask me why I study something I’m not going to work in. That’s a good question. And I’ll try to answer it here. It’s actually very simple. I used to make my choices in regards to my situation, without really thinking about the future. When I feel something is good for me at a point, I make the choice to go for it and if 6 months later I find out it wasn’t a good choice, I change my mind and find something else. Simple. Not smart at all, I agree. But it’s the only way I found to keep hoping and living.

Teaching seems to be an amazing thing. Imagine, you can share your experiences with kids and help them to make the better choices for them and for the others. You can teach them good values like respect, tolerance and sharing. You can also teach them the “truth”, especially with history, so they won’t make the same mistakes again and again.

I don’t know where you live, dear reader, but here the system is definitely fucked up. You can’t be better if you’re not in a good school, in the better ones. And you are a teacher in secondary school, let’s be honest: it’s too late. Too late to make them understand they can do whatever they want if only they take time to study, work, read and visit places! Cause that the curse of our lives: ignorance. They ignore how smart they can be.

And that’s exactly what the system wants them to think, feel and repeat. It needs to have people without a good education so they can keep doing their bad things and shitty reforms. It needs them to be as strong as ever. I really think that if everyone had the opportunity to learn how to be critical about what our leaders do, we won’t be in this kind of world, so selfish.

And I had to be in my last year of study to understand that. I feel like I waste my time. But I have other goals now. My diploma could help, in a way. And if anything wrong happened, at least, I know education will ALWAYS need teachers.

Cheers, Lady of Flesh